What Working with a Documentary Wedding Photographer Actually Looks Like
In today’s wedding photography world, there’s a massive emphasis on curating your wedding as a primarily aesthetic experience. So many couples find themselves in situations where they feel they’re planning a “photo performance” rather than a wedding.
What started as a celebration of love and life has, in many corners of the industry, been distorted into a day of staging “candid” moments that are, in fact, highly orchestrated, contrived performances for the camera.
And a lot of couples are turned off by that. Rightfully.
If you’re more interested in actually experiencing your wedding day than performing it, documentary wedding photography might be the right fit for you.
Your Wedding Experience Is More Important Than Your Photographer’s Portfolio
Modern wedding photography has become, frankly, a little unhinged.
Weddings are increasingly being planned for the photos, and I don’t mean it in a cute “we’ll want to remember this” kind of way. I mean, vendors and timelines being chosen solely to serve the aesthetic of a photographer’s portfolio. Moments being staged to look candid. Couples being directed into picture-perfect poses that have zero grounding in who they are or how they actually connect.
You deserve a photographer who prioritizes your vision and your experience, and NOT someone who’s trying to build a Pinterest-perfect portfolio off your wedding day.
A documentary-style photographer isn’t going to pull you away from your community, stage intimate moments, or chase the best light at the expense of your memories.
My goal is to simply show up, witness your love, and capture what actually happens.
Your wedding experience > my portfolio. Always.
Everyone on Your Vendor Team Needs to Be on the Same Page
It's important to have *all* of your wedding vendors on board with the documentary-style approach to your photography, even though it may seem like it's only about your photographer's style.
Even if you’re working with a photographer who takes a documentary approach, if your planner, day-of coordinator, or stylist is used to working with traditional photographers, they might unintentionally start stage-directing moments for the camera.
This is usually well-meaning, as coordinators are used to the formulas most photographers follow and often think they’re helping. But if your priority is real, candid documentation, it’s really important to let your vendors know that upfront. Set the tone early!
“Fuck Flattering” aka What Documentary Photography Really Looks Like
Listen. If you want photos where you never have a double chin, a strand of hair out of place, or your eyes half-closed, this may not be the approach for you.
But if you want photos where you’re laughing so hard you can’t breathe, crying on your sibling’s shoulder, laughing so hard your whole body folds over, dancing like an unhinged goblin at 11 pm, or throwing your head back mid-dance to a terrible karaoke rendition of “Since U Been Gone”... that’s where the gold is.
Documentary wedding photography embraces the messy, beautiful realness of being alive. The last thing you should be worrying about is your chin angle
And honestly? That’s way more flattering than any pose will ever be.
Real Moments Don’t Always Happen in Perfect Light
Perfect light is great. But real life doesn’t always wait for the perfect conditions.
I will never stop a real moment so I can move it into better light. I’m not going to interrupt a conversation so I can turn your body 20 degrees toward a window. I’m not going to ask you to recreate a moment just because it happened in the “wrong” part of the room.
The light will be what it will be. And it’ll all still be beautiful because you’re in it.
Plan Your Wedding Like There Won’t Be a Photographer
Seriously. Pretend I’m not coming. Plan your wedding based on what you want it to look and feel like, not what you think will photograph well.
We can absolutely set aside 30 minutes for some portraits or family photos if that’s important to you. But you don’t need to block off hours of your timeline just to accommodate a shot list you don’t care about. We can get everything we need without disrupting the flow of your day!
Golden Hour Isn’t Everything
This may be an unpopular opinion since a lot of wedding photographers insist on golden hour portraits. But golden hour tends to happen during the same time that cocktail hour or reception is going on. That means if you want golden hour photos, you may end up being pulled away from parts of your cocktail hour or reception.
Many of my clients who are drawn to documentary-style wedding photography want to be fully present for all the parts of their wedding they've spent so much time, energy, and money planning (and get to eat all those delicious, expensive hors d’oeuvres that are being passed around!).
You can have stunning photographs of your wedding day without getting golden hour portraits – don’t let anyone tell you otherwise :) If your photographer knows what they’re doing with a camera, they’ll be able to get amazing photos in any lighting conditions.
Ditch the Shot List
Shot lists assume you know in advance what will be meaningful. But documentary wedding photography is about staying open to surprise and letting the real, special stuff reveal itself.
My most interesting, memorable, and beautiful photos on wedding days don’t come from a shot list – they come from moments that I could not in my wildest dreams have orchestrated on my own!
Yes, I’ll Still Help You When You Need It
Just because I shoot documentary-style doesn’t mean I’ll leave you hanging. If we’re doing family portraits, I’ll guide you through them. If you want a few couples’ portraits but need help easing into it, I’ve got you.
But I’m not going to micromanage every finger placement or head tilt. There’s a difference between gently facilitating a moment (“sit here and snuggle up however feels natural”) and constructing one from scratch (“hold her this way, tilt your head, now kiss”).
I usually aim for something like 90% documentary, 10% gentle direction—enough to make you feel supported, but not staged.
Not Every Moment Will Get Captured, And That’s Okay Too
Working with a documentary wedding photographer means that some amazing moments that you can’t even anticipate will get documented. It also means that not every moment of the wedding day will be captured – and that’s okay!
Your photographer might be off capturing some amazing Giant Jenga game unfolding among the gaggle of 12-year-old nieces when you and your new spouse are sharing a kiss on the other side of the cocktail hour.
That doesn’t mean you have to recreate that kiss for your photographer when they get back. Nor does it mean you should wait for your photographer to be present to do anything special or meaningful; some of these special moments will happen outside the line of sight of your photographer, and that’s okay.
Just because every single moment isn’t captured in photos doesn’t mean you won’t remember them!
P.S. Even non-documentary photographers might miss some moments; there is a lot going on at the same time on your wedding day!
Presence > Performance
When you work with a documentary photographer, you’re choosing presence over perfection & performance.
It means trusting that the most meaningful parts of your wedding can’t be choreographed, and that’s what makes them beautiful.
You get to experience your day. I’ll take care of remembering it for you.
If this approach sounds like something you’d love to have for your own wedding day, then hey I’m Caroline, your queer documentary wedding photographer in NYC, and I’d love to hear from you. Reach out here to inquire, and let’s dream up your day together!